They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death.
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.
Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf.
I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That’s the distance my left ear is from my right.
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
~Ted Ray, Golf – My Slice of Life, 1972
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.
~Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1975